12. ‘Traumata, dear . . .’
Darkness germinant with the power of denial
Is routed by a dawn so bright it stabs eyes
To become the dagger’s instrument against mother
Who, divorcing, wasted or through fingers let slip
The boy’s guarantee of a positive male influence.
But sunrising eyes may become the soul’s organ
To pine untimely for the departed father,
To weigh down development with a heart of stone.
When the dispossessed teenager looks at the holes
Torn by hypocrisy in the socializing net –
In the tenuous patterns of unlovely belonging
That he’d never entreat for his sense of self –
The hostile will study Aggro-culture with his peers,
The derelict Pharmacy with benumbing zeal.
A daughter, traumatized by an absconding father,
Still keeps the parent with whom she identifies,
But rethinks the importance of a mother’s moulding
When the mothering niche she scoops out for herself
Does not fill with the crumbs of a father’s approval.
The girl who balanced her maternal feelings
With his smile (till it vanished) must feel her role-play
Despised and denigrated. Fierce desires may well up
To avenge maternity by disowning the rat,
Returning to sender his letters in shreds.
More power to her elbow! Love-objects, beware:
Don’t be surprised if, walking out
On your duty of love, you turn into your opposite!
Daughter, far better thus to avenge